So here I am. My eyes are aching, and the click, click, click of my last solitare game echo in the back of my paining head. yes, it is dramatic.
I feel so god damn alone. I want a hug, I need a hug! It sounds so desperate and needy. but I am craving affection so badly. And no. I'm not talking about affection from some loser teenage guy, that I'll eventually forget or grow to hate. I'm talking about affection from my parents/friends/family..but where are they? My Grandma has to be the least affectionate person I've ever met in my entire life. but in a way I can't see myself cuddling with her anyways.
Its snowing..maybe it'll just snow right up over the house and everyone will forget that we were even here. Thats the way it feels at least. god, it feels good to just let things out.
ahhhhh..I just feel like fucking screaming. I'm screaming inside. I can't seem to describe what I'm feeling now. I'm going to break, soon. I don't know when but the stress and tension of my life is building up.
I need to do some positive thinking.
I like my new layout! :)
I love my horse.
Its going to be summer soon.
I can go to Checkmate if I want.
Jenn might come and visit.
I have my whole life ahead of me.
Life goes on, even though it might not seem like it.
My horse is going to a really nice home.
I get to look for a new horse this summer.
I get to have yummy jelly candies for dessert tonight.
OK..I feel slightly better, not completely but a bit. Maybe I just need to cry.
xox