Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, BLAH!
The story of my life, I swear. I'm at an emotional blockage in my life right now, and I am slowly and steadily trying to work my way around it. I don't understand things lately and personally I don't think they understand me! I need some emotional support but everyone seems to be caught up on their own lives right now. I'm leaving..and when I get sad about it no one understands because technically its totally my choice, but I may not want to leave my friends but I have to leave this town if I want to do what I have in mind for my career. I mean famous soccer players don't come from places where no one plays soccer right? So, to make my point, going away is hard for me, I don't care if I want to or not.. the fact I have to leave my friends sucks.
I am terrified of my own insecurity. I feel it coming after me and I just want to run away. I hope I don't come across as an insecure person. Am I?
I love all my friends. They overall are pretty great. I don't always understand them and I guess thats normal. I wish my friends could read my mind when the thoughts I am thinking are too hard to tell. My thoughts are confusing lately..all day today I was thinking about things that would make me almost cry. Grr, what they fuck is wrong with me!! I just want to stay away from guys right now, concentrate on school..but that little plan just isn't working. Damn it and I wish it was..all of my friends are hooked up or hooking up and I wish I had someone. I guess my life holds different expectations then theirs and I'm learning to deal with it, but its hard. ( Elizabeth )